A Letter for My Daughter

As I searched for something to write today topics whizzed through my mind. I have a lot of topics on a waiting list but I wanted to find something light-hearted to weave today. I searched and searched but came up with nothing.

This is something I’ve been wanting to do for a while. Write for my daughter; sharing my hopes and dreams for her. I want it to be something I can give to her, in a time when she’s a little more receptive of what I feel. Obviously not now when I clearly know nothing. Maybe for high school graduation, for college graduation may be too late.

For My Daughter,

As I write this you are 11 years old. A typical pre-teen full of hopes and aspirations…and I am losing importance in your eyes. It’s the way of life and I accept it for what it is. One day I hope you see me again as your friend, matron, mentor. I’m sure that when I give you this the following will have altered little. There may be things to add or take away, but at this time in our lives these are some things I want to share with you.

I may not love the things you do, but I love YOU unconditionally.

I hope that you can find some happy memories from this tangled web your father and I wove for you. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but be assured it hasn’t been easy for us either. I wish I could have given you the warm, fun, loving home that I’d dreamed of giving my children….something like a 1940s sitcom. It didn’t happen that way; but, I hope you never play the victim card. I pray that you have the strength and will to always rise above the circumstances and make the best of what you are granted in life.

I pray that you take from your father and I only the best. We both have good characteristics and, yes, we both have flaws. I hope that I’ve given you the tools to discriminate between the two. The differences may not be obvious at once, but over the course of your life I hope you can separate the wheat from the chaff

Surround yourself with positive people. Be a positive person and people will want to be with you.

Own your mistakes. If you don’t own them, they’ll own you and you’ll run from them your whole life. It’s so freeing to acknowledge your errors and make reparations as quickly as possible. People will appreciate you for it and they’ll respect your ability to do so.

Love yourself…unconditionally.

Live with an open heart…open to ideas, open to opinions, open to people. Welcome people in to your heart. If they hurt you or take advantage of your kindness, let it be their loss not yours. Let it make you appreciate those in your heart more. Don’t let it bitter you or sour your feelings toward humanity. The world is full enough of angry people without enough time to smile at a stranger or hold a door. Maybe your smile will be the only shining moment in a stranger’s day.

Likewise, don’t take advantage of other’s kindness.

Laugh at yourself regularly.

I hope that you can be strong and independent but not so strong that you push help from others away. I know I’m not a good example of this. It’s okay to accept help. It doesn’t signify weakness…it signifies intelligence.

Storms will pass and pain will fade…as long as you let it. Don’t let misfortune define you…grow from it.

I hope that you can one day find a friend in your brother. I know I’ve said this a million times by now. Someday your dad and I will be gone. Family is vital. If you can’t count on family what can you count on? Eventually, you’re going to need each other’s shoulders to lean on. Open your heart to him. Forget childishness and love each other.

Find beauty in life. It’s all around you, you just have to recognize it.

Wait for the right one. Don’t settle for the first one…and don’t be afraid to end an engagement all the way up to the big day. Find someone who loves you unconditionally, someone who respects you for who you are now and for the woman you will become in 20 years. Wait for someone who holds the same strong beliefs that you do…all other things will flow from that. Don’t accept anyone who is not everything that you need. Forget about those fairy tales….because that’s all they are…tales. A perfect marriage doesn’t happen on it’s own. It’s nurtured daily by both people.

Dance in the rain at least once in your life.

Most importantly, have Faith! Have strong, passionate Faith! I hope, more than anything else I’ve given you in life, I’ve lead you to see God is you most true and faithful Friend. There will be times in your life, most likely many times, when He is all you have to cling to. Place it in His hands, He will steer you in the right direction.